


Pansmione Prompted Drabbles

by FleetofShippyShips



Series: HP Femslash Ficlets and Drabbles [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, HP: EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Major Character Death (offscreen), Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-12-16 21:38:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11837550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetofShippyShips/pseuds/FleetofShippyShips
Summary: Prompted Pansmione drabbles from my blog.





	1. "Oh come on, sure it's muggle, but it's just yoga!"

**Author's Note:**

> Rating is the highest of all the drabbles, but the drabbles vary in rating and content.
> 
> Chapter title is the prompt line for the drabble, and any additional detail is in the chapter notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by phaytesworld.

“Oh, come on! Sure, it’s muggle, but it’s just yoga!”

Hermione’s tone had that annoying wheedling quality to it. She was sure she was going to change Pansy’s mind.

Well, that did it.

Pansy crossed her arms, and turned up her nose at Hermione. As if she wasn’t sitting at the breakfast table in a fluffy dressing gown and kitty cat slippers. She waited until Hermione sipped her tea.

“I’m not contorting my body like that unless someone is having an orgasm,” she said shortly.

Hermione choked on her tea.


	2. "This is the part where most people leave, so I guess goodbye then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by rose-grangerweasleyisbae.
> 
> **WARNING: Major Character Death (offscreen)**

“This is the part where most people leave, so I guess goodbye then.”

In fact, that part had come and gone a while ago, and she’d already said this several times. She touched the cold marble of the headstone with a shaking hand. The sight of her own old, wrinkled skin made her even more sad. 

Pansy wasn’t supposed to go first. Hermione wasn’t ready to let go

The service had been lovely, almost like a distraction.

Standing in front of her headstone, it felt like walking away was making it more real. Like really saying goodbye. But the funeral had ended hours ago. It was time to leave. It would soon be dark.

Hermione sighed to herself. Everything would be dark and dull until she joined Pansy. But she was so old, and so tired. It wouldn’t be long. That made it all hurt just a little less.


	3. She took a sip of wine and set the glass down delicately, her eyes focused on the other woman the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by ff-sunset-oasis.

She took a sip of wine, and set the glass down delicately, her eyes focused on the other woman the whole time.

“I think I misheard you,” she said, unable to stop herself from looking Parkinson over.

“You heard me just fine,” Parkinson said, leaning back, watching her with an intense expression. “I think we should turn this business dinner into a personal one. In the last forty minutes, we’ve talked no business at all. And don’t think I haven’t noticed the number of times your eyes have wandered. This isn’t even the first time this has happened.”

Heat flooded Hermione’s cheeks, and she cleared her throat and looked around the crowded restaurant. “Look, Parkinson—” 

“Pansy, darling,” Parkinson said, her voice low, as she leaned closer, reaching across the table and turning over the hand Hermione had rested there. She lightly trailed her fingertips over her palm. “Call me Pansy. Three months of business dinners, three months of ignoring those looks you give me. I’ve had enough. Just say yes, and I’ll Apparate us back to mine, lay you down on my bed, and have you moaning the name with ease by the time the night is through.”

Hermione’s breath caught in her throat, and her heart seemed to be pounding in her ears. Her face only felt warmer, and it was like her whole world narrowed down to the heated expression on Parkinson’s face, and the gentle caress of her fingertips.

“Yes,” she breathed.


	4. "I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by Anon.

“I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”

“Of course it is,” Pansy said, ushering Hermione off the street, and into the tearoom. “Common practice. Whether you think it’s just good manners to bring me tea on your way back from the breakroom, or not, you’ve been supplying me with tea at work for several weeks now. This demands reciprocation.”

Hermione sent her an exasperated look, as Pansy guided her to an out of the way table, and gestured for a host to see to them.

“This seems more like a date than a simple reciprocation of kindness,” she said.

Pansy wanted to laugh. How much longer would they play this game? 

“Well, it isn’t,” she said, tilting her head, and pretending to ponder it. “However, I must take your wishes into consideration. It’s only polite. A date it is then! And you can take me to that art exhibit on Sunday in return. Lovely!”

The look on Hermione’s face was worth the risk of being turned down. The smile that followed it was even better.


	5. "Call me a hermit one more time and I will cut you, Parkinson."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by rose-grangerweasleyisbae.

“Call me hermit one more time and I will cut you, Parkinson!”

Pansy snorted. Such a threat would be more bothersome if it didn’t come from within the folds of a fluffy purple dressing gown, and several scarves.

Pushing past her, she entered Hermione’s flat, and made a beeline for the kitchen. 

“I know you haven’t eaten, don’t even try to lie to me. Ron and Harry have told me all about what you’re like when you’re sick, including the way you ferret yourself away. I can’t believe I never noticed it before!”

Hermione followed her slowly, sniffling miserably. “Get out of my kitchen!”

Pansy ignored her, and put the kettle on, before unpacking the groceries she’d brought her and putting everything away. She left out the soup, and ended the stasis charm, fetching a spoon, and putting it in front of Hermione the second she sat on one of the counter stools.

“Eat,” she said, in the no nonsense tone she’d learned from her back in their eighth year. “I’m going to go burn— I mean, change your bedding.”


	6. "Tell my girlfriend she's going to hell for being a lesbian one more time and I swear to Lucifer I will punch you in the dick so hard your balls come out through your nose."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by Anon.

“Tell my girlfriend she’s going to hell for being a lesbian one more time, and I swear to Lucifer I will punch you in the dick so hard your balls come out through your nose!”

Hermione felt her face turn scarlet, and she grabbed Pansy by her arms, and pulled her away from the rather terrified looking man, and all the similarly shocked bystanders.

“Let go of me!” Pansy hissed. “I can’t deal with this our way, but I can sure as hell still make him regret that disgusting rubbish he was saying to you!”

“We are in the middle of a supermarket!” Hermione hissed right back. “Control yourself!”

Pansy pulled her arms free, and glared at her. 

“I won’t stand for that shit, Hermione! No one has the right to look down on you for loving women! I can’t believe that there are people who would say such things to you! He doesn’t even know you! What kind of establishment is this? No decency! And why is that garbage they call music still playing?”

Hermione snorted. Such words had stopped hurting a long time ago, but seeing Pansy lose her head in a crowded supermarket was something new, and surprisingly enjoyable.


	7. "I can't believe the wizarding world doesn't have detachable shower heads. You're missing out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by ylime94.

“I can’t believe the wizarding world doesn’t have detachable shower heads. You’re missing out,” Hermione said, somewhat excitedly.

Pansy raised an eyebrow. “I don’t understand this muggle nonsense. How am I missing out? I don’t need to detach it, it works fine where it is.”

Hermione only looked more excited, and left her chair to straddle Pansy’s lap. Pansy quickly looked around the eighth-year common room, but it was empty. Everyone else was out watching Draco and Harry compare dick sizes. Chase the snitch. Same thing. Idiots.

“Well, Pansy,” Hermione said, gripping her chin lightly, and tilting her head up so she could brush kisses along her jaw as she talked, “a detachable shower head is used by women to get off.”

“What?” That sounded absurd. “How?”

Hermione chuckled into her neck, her hands now sliding under Pansy’s shirt. “You turn the water against yourself. Constant, warm pressure, covering the whole surface of your clit, and the skin around it.”

Pansy’s breath hitched, as Hermione’s fingers unlatched her bra. Or maybe from her words. That didn’t sound so terrible. Why didn’t they have those? 

“I imagine they’d only be more enjoyable with company,” Hermione whispered, cupping Pansy’s breasts, and mouthing at her neck.

Indeed. “There are probably spells we could use to make one, right?” Pansy asked, tilting her head back as Hermione kissed and sucked at her neck.

Hermione chuckled. “Magic has rarely failed me when I’m determined to make it work.”


	8. "Nobody is gunna get in trouble. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by ylime94.

“Nobody is gunna get in trouble. I promise.”

Hermione gave Pansy a strange look. “Is that really how you talk when you’re drunk?”

Pansy squinted at her. “Who invited Granger?”

Draco snorted into his drink. “You did, because you want in her pants.”

Hermione choked on her drink, and spluttered a bit, her face heating up. Everyone else laughed

“Been there, done that,” Pansy said dismissively, eyeing her up. “Probably do it again later. Back on topic! We streaking through the halls or what?”


	9. "But what about everyone else's reactions?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by secretly-me.

“But what about everyone else’s reactions?”

“Who cares,” Pansy said dismissively, peering out from behind the tapestry.

“I care,” Hermione huffed. “I haven’t even told Ron and Harry yet, and you want to announce it to bloody Malfoy?”

Pansy glared at her. “I won’t stand for what he said about me being alone. I won’t.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “You’re so easy to work up. He probably already knows about us. He was probably only teasing you.”

“I don’t care! He—” Pansy turned and pushed her against the wall, taking her lips in a kiss that was at once passionate. Hermione almost forgot what they were doing, until the tapestry fell down, charmed to do so once someone walked past it. Looking past Pansy, she took in the smug smirk on Malfoy’s face, and rolled her eyes. So he had played Pansy. Snorting, she grabbed Pansy’s head before she could turn to look, and kissed her again.

_ Slytherins _ .


	10. "I've got to go... iron... my cat. Bye!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by Anon.

“I’ve got to go… iron… my cat. Bye!”

Ron and Harry blinked stupidly after Hermione, as she dashed out of the common room, and down the hallway to the dorms.

Exchanging a glance, they followed her.

“She’s lying, right?” Harry asked.

“‘Course!” Ron exclaimed, as they entered the hall. “There’s no way she doesn’t feel like studying today! She always feels like studying.”

Harry nodded, and they slowed as they neared the room she shared with Pansy and Padma.

“Why would she need chocolate syrup for in her room anyway?” Harry muttered. “Seems a bit stupid to go all the way to the kitchens for it, and then pretend it’s nothing. What do you think she’s got in there?”

Ron paused, his eyes widening. “ _Mate_.”

“What?” Harry asked, not stopping.

Ron hung back, as Harry opened the door a crack.

Two seconds later, he closed it, and then turned around.

“Could’ve warned me.”

Shrugging, Ron slung an arm over his shoulder and dragged him away. “It’s about time you got to see what a girl looks like naked. You’re our bloody saviour after all.”

Harry whacked the back of his head. “Parkinson is the last person I’d want to see naked, you wanker!”

Behind them, the door opened, and they were both hit in the back with a spout of cold water.

Sputtering violently, they turned around. Hermione nodded smartly, and then shut the door again.

Harry turned back to Ron with a dark glare on his face. Ron raised his hands in a placating gesture, and shrugged at him.

“At least you finally got to see a pair of tits?”

“You’re an arsehole. And now I’m an arsehole for peeping. Which makes you a bigger arsehole for letting me do it!”

Ron shrugged. “Good thing you like—”

Harry whacked the back of his head again.

“—arse then,” Ron finished.

“Hey, Potter!”

They turned around to see Pansy poking her head out the door, and showing that she was still naked, since her shoulders were bare where they peeked around the doorframe.

Harry’s stomach lurched, and he held up his hands. There were only five women he truly feared; Molly, McGonagall, Ginny, Hermione, and Pansy. Pissing off Pansy never went well for anyone, as they had all found out at various points since their eighth-year had begun.

“I didn’t—”

“Want to join us?” Pansy asked. From the room behind her came a high-pitched screeching sound that _might_ have been her name.

Harry’s face turned red. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. If he said no, would she feel insulted, and hex him? Was this a set up? If he said yes, would she hex him?

“Relax, Potter?” she said, chuckling at him. “Just wanted to get her to make that sound. Couldn't waste the opportunity. Priceless! Carry on!”

The door closed again, and Harry shook his head.

“I blame you for all of this.”

Ron just whistled. “Does she have nice tits then?”

Harry hit him again.


End file.
